"I think in life you should do things you're not ready to do."

Today, I decided to start my own party planning business.
I am currently working out details,
like a name, packages/costs, a portfolio.

Ha, not only details, but figuring out exactly how I will get the word out.
I decided not to tell anyone I know, except of course my husband.
I just don't need anyone bringing me down.

The only thing I know for sure is I want to do homemade at home parties, specializing in children's parties, & for people who have actual budgets.

I am very very excited.
& I pray that it works out, because it would be a dream come true. <3

If dreams do come true.

How amazing would it be, if everyone you knew got to live their dreams? You and everyone you knew were able to work and love what you do more than anything else.

What a thought.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was 17, in high school, and had no real idea what I wanted to do with my life. I graduated early, and worked part time at Taco Bell while I was pregnant, and until my son what 6mos old. I then randomly one day, decided to go to Remington College, and become a Medical Assistant. That's how it happened. I needed to do something, I needed a good job, good hours, and wanted something quick. So, I made it happen.

This is a decision that I would never regret, & I will always be so proud of myself. I have loved my job, and still do.

But.

It's not my dream job. It's not what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I actually think that I just discovered what I want to do, what would make me so happy.
I would LOVE LOVE to be an event planner. I love reading articles on it, I am bursting with ideas, and want so badly to throw pointless parties. I save pictures and am just oozing with it all.

The issue is, how? How can I make this happen, without looking like a fool? I mean who wants to be a party planner? Ha, not that I care, but really think about it.

The next problem I for see is, what a risky field. We are in a flipping recession for goodness sake.

Brainstorming. <3

Summer Check List.

Here is my summer checklist.
In no order.

Strut my stuff in this smoking vintage swim suit.

Make smores with my boys.

Have a date with my husband at the park, and talk all night under the stars ♥ .

Camp out in the back yard with Trevor.

Master a good Lemonade Recipe. & a Margarita recipe too.

Plant a hydrangea bush in my yard. I don't care if I rent.

Bring some color into my living room, it is wayy too beige.

Spend days just lying at my MIL's pool.

Get pregnant already.

Wear flowers in my hair.

Buy some longer shorts.

Plan an amazing anniversary date with my husband.

Go rent a cabin.

Fish.

Go on more picnics.

Tell myself I am beautiful everyday.

A letter to my baby on his birthday.

Dear my sweet little birthday boy,

Today, you turned 5. If one day you are reading this and think "so what?" You should know, that this birthday hit me good and hard. When I first looked at you this morning, it hit me that you are no longer my baby. You don't like me kissing you in public, and soon I know you will start to think I am embarrassing. I just want you to know, that in this very moment of your life, I couldn't love you more. I watch you sometimes, just in awe of how smart and handsome you are. Your a little sponge that soaks up everything.

People always say, be a parent, not a friend. I am not sure how that is done, because in you, I see my best friend. You are the sweetest soul I have ever encountered, & I love to be around you every minute of the day. I love to tell you secrets, tickle you and just love you.

I took the day off work, and spent it doing everything you wanted. We had a picnic at the park, you ate a peanut butter & chocolate chip sandwich for lunch, and pancakes for dinner.

Your birthday wish was to fly with dragons.

I think if you read this one day, you will love to hear a few things you like to do/say.

You always call me "babysitter". It's a weird little thing. You will out of the blue say "babysitter! babysitter! " Followed by your infectious laugh.

If I am not wearing a dress, you tell me "those clothes are boring". I love wearing dresses so, that doesn't happen often :)

You love swords and guns. You insist on chasing Sophia around the house scaring her. You think it' s hilarious. I think it's loud, but when you laugh, I don't really care why. I just love to hear your smile.

Right now, even today, you have told me multiple times that "you are the best mommy." & I hope that feeling never changes. I know that one day, you are going to make a wonderful man, husband, and father. I just hope that you always see me as a mother who gave you everything she could. Everything she had. A mommy who would do anything to see you smile, anything to see you happy.

I love you so very much baby ♥

always,

your momma.

not ready

I can't believe that my boy is about to be 5 years old. five. years. old.

OHEMGEE. I want to cry. I knew it was coming, and no matter how much I have prepared myself, I still can't fathom, that I have a 5 year old.

It's not that I don't want him to grow up, I love watching him grow and learn new things.

I am just not ready. I am not ready to enroll him in kindergarten. I am not ready to do real homework with him, or have him deal with bullies, or worse..girls. His little life has literally flew by, and although I have no regrets in raising the little bean, I want to go back. I want to smell his baby breath, or squeeze his humungo cheeks just one last time. I would wake up every three hours on the dot, if he would just let me hold him every once and a while. It is just all happening way too fast, and way too soon. I am not ready for him to stop being my baby, not even close..

Here.

I had a blog a few months back, and randomly one day, I lost all inspiration to share. I followed all the same blogs every morning, and enjoyed all the humor and inspiration from other people, but I lost my passion for sharing my life there.

I tried to get it back. Many times, I would start writing, and become bored. How does that happen? I was in love with my blog. I loved it. Recently, I have just felt compelled to just start fresh. So, here I am.

New name, new feel. New everything.

& I like it.

Here I am now, & I can't wait to flood this baby with ideas, feelings, memories, and inspiration.